Park

Today, after school, I went to this lovely park.
It's really wonderful, and I love it.
A real paradise, five minutes from my house.

And I went there, cause I didn't want to go home. I don't know why, I just wanted to feel free.

And I sat down, and it was great, calm, and those birds around me, and it all remembered me 'Pride and Prejudice'.
It really was great, and I thought, wow. This is paradise. You are in, and what now?

Well, I had no idea. I read a bit, but it wasn't like.. I thought about what I want to do with my life, and I don't know.

I have it so great, and I'm sure, if I would stay here, I would go out with this man I love, and we would get married and .. whatever.

That's just, you know, not how it's in real, is it?

I don't want it to be like that. Well maybe, I do, but I need to see what I miss, if I make my life like that.
I want to do many things.. not now. But I want to do them..

List:
1.Road trip in the U.S.A.
2.Travel to Japan and visit it. Maybe stay there for some years.
3.Travel to India.
4.See Africa. I mean, I want to see some parts of it, not the whole continent. Like, Idk, egypt and tunesia, kenia etc.
5.Do something for humanity.
6.Write some books. (And maybe publish them)
7.Travel to the U.K. and see London, and live there a while.. and go to Edinburgh, my sister loves scotland, and it would be great.
8.Travel to Sweden
9.Travel to some islands, make real vacances, with the sea and white sand and drinks, relaxing, massages etc.
10.End up back in A)Scotland or England, B)Back in Switzerland.

I know, that's all like.. idk, just impossible, and I have no idea what job I need to do all those things, but I wanted to write them down.

I want this life, and I know I'll have it, I just don't know how.
And I am so fucking lucky-with everything.

--

I'm tired. I actually don't want to do such journals about my fucking life and all that shit.
I want a diary, where I can write that I am fucking tired, and I am going to play this game now, Oberin, which rocks, and I want to go swimming later, but our charlady's here and I don't want to derrange her, cause hed kid's with her and she's asleep.

Reading 'A Long Way Down'-Nick Hornby
Listening to Anna Ternheim

Shit. Fox left Oberin. And it sounds so freaking stupid, caus you know, he left. Ha ha.
No I mean, I met this guy, he's like fourteen, in there, and he's so fucking funny, and I laugh all the time with him- a real virtual friend ha ha.

And he left. And it sucks. And I hate him for it.

-charlady left, me goes swimming now. See ya later.

(We got guests tonight, and mom's gonna do some dinner, jesus.)

30.5.08 16:40

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